Hanover Halloween parade goes......gay?

This just in....

A stunning set of events unraveled in Hanover on Thursday night...the gays took over. Several floats like the one pictured were found in the annual parade and shocked the local residents. Jebidi Cleetis was quoted as saying "Its out right crazy...dem dar gays are ruin everything"! As the tune to YMCA boomed through the streets...the gays ran amuck! They also were responsible for random acts of fashion and also painted the town square pink in protest. Hanover will never be the same...."the gays are here to stay!" said local gay legend Chester ManLester!

In related news....Gap for Gays and American Crew have opened new stores following the outbreak! Right next to one of the million Hanover banks.

Post your Monopoly peices here!

OK peeps lets work together. I will post the peices that i have here. Let's win something! I really want to get somthing back from McDonalds for the years they have taken off my life with their fatty, artery clogging food.............man I need a Big Mac! POST YOUR PEICES!


*NC Ave- Green
*Atlatic Ave- Yellow
*New York and St.James- Orange
*PA, Reading and B&O railroad
*BalticAve- Purple

Terrell Owens Sent To Pop Warner League To Work On Maturity

Found this on another site....but man did I love it!

In a shocking move Wednesday, the Philadelphia Eagles sent disgruntled wide receiver Terrell Owens to "the nearest Pop Warner league so a bunch of seven-year olds" can teach him how to "act more maturely."
Owens has been feuding with coach Andy Reid, quarterback Donovan McNabb, and the Philadelphia media in a concerted effort to acquire the biggest ego in post-Napoleonic history.
Reid dismissed Owens from training camp last week, saying his star wideout nagged him enough times to "make it feel like my wife was in training camp with me."
Owens should "greatly benefit" from being around children, an Eagles team psychologist said. "If we can get him to start acting like he's eight when the regular season rolls around, we're ahead of the curve."
"Generally speaking, most professional athletes are like big, brawny pre-teenagers," said a behavioral psychologist. "Kind of like an 11-year old who can kick your ass. Owens, however, is behaviorally deficient even by those standards. Think of him as a toddler with big biceps who can run a slant pattern."
Owens will be forced "to run on his knees" and "tackle gently" in his new league, according to his agent Drew Rosenhaus. "He'll also learn stuff like not talking over coaches, waiting in line at the water cooler, and to refrain from referring to himself in the third person."
In other NFL news, Denver Broncos' 64-year old wide receiver Jerry Rice went to run a fly pattern today and "his left leg just fell off."

Girls only dig guys with SKILLS!

This post is for people to list their skills! I for one have many skills and find it hard for any woman in her right mind to resist the following if you need training let me know......
1. Pee all over the toilet seat skills....popular with my wife.
2. Scratch my ass in 15 diffent ways skills....another must have in a man.
3. Can't find shit (but its right in front of me)skills....great for a treasure hunt!
4. I can also fart the alphabet, but only after 2 cans of beans.(see beans kill post)
5. I can spit up to 15 feet away! That is not something you can teach...you must be born with it!

All in all I would say that I am one talented mofo! Please let me know all of your skills!

Evil Monkey found in my closet!

This just in....
After years of speculation I have found the evil monkey in my closet. I knew there was something in there but an Evil Monkey.....who would have ever guessed. "I was shocked to see him in there!" said my imaginary friend Leroy . "its really not safe for Dan to be in there alone with that bad ass monkey". This photo was taken late last night as the monkey stole my suit and forced me from the closet.

Please...if anyone knows how to get a Evil Monkey out of your closet...let me know! I think it may be Michael Jackson's monkey because it always run when I play Billie Jean on my Ipod........go figure!

Maine resident injured in hunting accident.....

This just in.......

It was supposed to be a long overdue and fun hunting trip....that turned into tragedy. Josh Penn was seriously injured when he was attacked be several angry deer over the weekend. There are several reports on why the deer attached him, but the main reason is that he was covered in his own urine after he fell asleep and pissed his pants. "I looked up and saw Josh being attacked by dem der deers and one even eating his damn lunch!" said Cleetis Mcshooty who was along on the trip. Josh was listed in serious condition from his injuries. I for one think that the deer smelled fear....and attacked! Please don't let this happen to you!

Good luck on your trip Josh.....and don't let them smell fear!

Your voice has been silenced!

I was reading the news last night....which I do everyday. I came across something that scared the hell out of me. The United Nations is seizing control of the internet from the U.S.A. I know what you are thinking...."we don't own the internet, do we?".....YES WE DO! The underlying infrastructure of the internet is stored and housed here in the States. Read all about it here:

http://technology.guardian.co.uk/weekly/story/0,16376,1585288,00.html

The U.N. has let this entire world down...(that's another post in itself) so many times. I for one don't want them involved in anything that is related to the United States. I surely hope that we fight this..... and fight it HARD or freedom of speach will monitored and controlled...not by the U.S. but the unrelaible, worthless, corrupt, and needless U.N.!

Oh ya here is the list of countries that could be watching you tomorrow...Brazil, China, Cuba, Iran and several African states.....SCARY!

Typhoon "Longwang" pound the coast of Taiwan...

This just in....

TAIPEI, Taiwan (AFP) — Typhoon Longwang pounded Taiwan Sunday, leaving 34 people injured, disrupting air traffic, destroying power lines and uprooting trees. Longwang lashed the coast for several hours and then increased in power before eyeing China up. Read more here:


http://www.usatoday.com/weather/stormcenter/2005-10-02-typhoon-longwang_x.htm?POE=WEAISVA

Now people... I bet you thought I was going to make fun of this didn't you? Well you are sorely mistaken...I mean really what kind of person do you think I am? You should really feel bad.............(huhhuhhhhu.....you said "Longwang")....YES very bad indeed!